Written by victor nicholas
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Sunday, 6 December 2009

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Lowton Ashamed of Affair

Blackpool - Impresario owner of TheSpoof.com Mark Lowton has come forward and admitted having an affair with a local Blackpool woman, explaining periodic absences from TheSpoof.com that left his Internet empire floundering and rudderless.

Lowton admits the affair came about accidentally as he was buying some kippers from Tesco to take back to his hotel room here while visiting for some rest and relaxation. As he was making his purchase he locked eyes with an attractive raven haired young cashier who was serving him and knew it was love at first sight.

Lowton says he was too bashful to speak to the young woman at the time and does not know her last name but recalls her first name was "Staff" from the name tag she wore on her bosom.

Lowton said he returned to his hotel room and ate his kippers all the while haunted by the enchanting words "Staff" had spoken to him so kindly at the checkout station, rolling them over and over again dreamily in his head, "Is that all sir, sir?" and "Have a good day."

Overcome with desire he longed to see "Staff" so returned to Tesco against his better judgement and bought some cleaning supplies just so he could see the young lady once more.

Lowton said that this was not the end of the affair. "I came back a third time and she was not there at the checkout even though I had bought a Hoover."

"I noticed that the other clerks had name tags that said "Staff" as well though they were not her and thought I was going mad, it's probably a popular name here."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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