In a shock move to beat the recession, the government has announced that it will be introducing taxation on vinegar strokes.
The move is part of a strategic plan designed to reduce the tax burden on bankers in the affluent South-East.
"Most vinegar strokes are enjoyed by northern men of working age," Chancellor Alistair darling told us. "So by taxing vinegar strokes, we believe we've found a fair way of spreading out the tax burden."
Research told us that Southern men and bankers rarely experience vinegar strokes, but unfortunately, we couldn't find a definition of vinegar strokes, so we asked the Chancellor.
"I'm not really sure what they are exactly," he told us. "But we will be imposing a high tax levy on them."
This didn't make sense to this reporter. How can something be taxed when nobody really knows exactly what it is?
We got a bit dispirited by our investigation so we went to the pub. Where we met a northern bloke. With a northern accent. We asked him if he knew what a vinegar stroke was?
"Aye lad," Egbert Ollerenshaw, who turned out to come from Accrington told us. "Ah knows what vinegar stroke is. It's when a bloke's having a bit and on't verge o' shootin' 'is muck. His face gets all scrunched up like he's gorra gobfull o' vinegar. That's yer vinegar stroke son."
We were shocked.
More as we get it.