Written by Katarina Frogpond2
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Sunday, 6 December 2009

image for Kerry Katona devastated by Colleen Nolan and Jason Donovan Party Antics
On sale in Iceland now for £9.99.

Friends of Kerry Katona say she has been left devastated after being forced to watch footage of Colleen Nolan and Jason Donovan at the Annual Iceland Christmas Party.

She had hoped that her friends would boycott the Christmas party this year as a mark of respect, but Colleen and Jason partied like it was 1999.

Kerry has revealed that the film of the party was cruelly transported to her telly via a satellite owned by Colleen, just to make her jealous.

Kerry revealed "I was just sitting in my house, watching "In the Jungle with Katie Price." when all of a sudden the programme was interrupted by Colleen stuffing her face with food and drink, and telling everyone to leave the Country and go to Iceland", just like I used to"

Katarina Frogpond (that's me) asked. "Are you sure it wasn't just an Advert, Kerry"

"No." Said Kerry "It was the real Iceland Christmas party. That's what they do. I know because I used to be Queen of that Party. Now they won't even talk to me in the high street"

"So what are you going to do about it" Asked Katarina.

"Well. I'm going to buy a missile launcher and blow Colleen's satellite out of the sky because the film footage of her party keeps being transmitted to my telly 20 million times a day and I want it to stop. It's driving me mad."

"And where will you buy a missile launcher, Kerry?" I asked.

"Iceland, the country. Since they went bust, they need all the cash they can get, so they're selling their weapons off cheap. They said I can have one for £9.99. Now, that's a great deal. Not even the other Iceland could beat that price."

"What other deals did they have?" Asked a curious Katarina.

"They offered me a bank for 20p," Kerry replied, "but I said "No, ta. I think we've all established that your banks rubbish."

"Very wise, Kerry. If only you'd shown a little more of this kind of financial genius last year you could've saved yourself a lot of trouble. Good luck with your mission, and I hope next year will be kinder to you than this year has."

By Katarina Frogpond.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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