Written by IN SEINE
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Topics: Safety, Roads

Friday, 4 December 2009

image for Sick Lollipop Man Responsible for the Deaths of Five Children
"Red means STOP!"

A concerned father from Devon was getting a bit worried about all three of his children getting put in to detention for being late for classes three days in a row.

They said; "But daddy! It's not our fault we are late for lessons, it's the traffic, it won't stop for us - we used to have a lollipop man but he is ill and we have to cross ourselves - it's so dangerous daddy! Can you help us?"

The unnamed lollipop man has been laid off work for a prolonged, unnamed illness, which he claims is not his fault. So far, he has been off work for 8 weeks. Yet, the local council have not got round to employing a replacement.

A spokesman for the council, told In Seine News; "Road safety is of paramount importance, but while we would fully support all schools in their effort this to ensure the safety of pupils and to help us recruit relief patrols, we have a duty to follow all the procedures."

Having read his local newspaper of how the council is struggling for cash, 38-year-old father, Craig Hodge decided that he could do the job quickly and efficiently, thereby saving the council money and children's lives at the same time.

Already a football coach with his CRB checks in hand, he donned a high-visibility jacket and completed the job successfully, every day for five weeks and at the same time NOT asking for any financial reward! The teachers at the school and many of the parents gave Mr Hodge their full support(The teachers were pleased because they did not have to stay behind to supervise the detention classes).

However, one public-spirited, curtain-twitching, do-gooder reported him to the police saying that he 'might' not be qualified to do the job and the police ordered him to stop children crossing immediately.

Sadly, since Mr Hodge has left the post, no less than five children have been killed in as many days crossing the road to get to school. To cover their shame, the council have blamed it on the original lollipop man for being ill in the first place and they are advertising for a new lollipop man or woman for the temporary post. They did say "the intensive training would take over a week and would cost several thousand pounds - money which we have not got."

Mr Hodge will not be applying for the post. "I knew this would happen!" He said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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