'Shocking!' led the headline in The Daily Whinge; 'Arse!' ran the headline in The Sun: But all papers were uniform in their agreement about the details regarding the verbal banter between local woman Karen Burgess and plumber Tom Thumb.
On December 1st 2009, at approximately 11.43am, Mr. Thumb, 31, arrived at number 74 Oakview estate to repair a broken sewerage pipe that had been leaking shite and withered soggy toilet rolls for several days.
He was just about to open his box and pull out his big tool when the occupant of the house - a one Miss Karen Burgess, 29 - looked down the crack of his ill-fitting trousers and said: "Nice Arse, Big Boy!".
Shocked and embarrassed, Mr. Thumb immediately fled into the nearby hills and dales, where he survived for several hours by hunter gathering and scrounging for berries and bird eggs.
Miss Burgess was branded a 'first class slapper' by the local plumber's union for her disrespect to an 'honourable' profession.
Court ordered her to do 140 hours community service and to never abuse an innocent, respectable tradesman for 5 years. After that time she can do as she bloody well likes.