Written by Thibarine
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Topics: Gordon Brown

Friday, 4 December 2009

image for Gordon Brown has Alzheimer's, claims Hollywood star Renée Zellweger as Prime Minister calls for more battered women.
"Get off your knees and stop calling me Your Majesty" Margaret Thatcher tells an increasingly confused Brown.

Hollywood superstar Renée Zellweger was left fuming when the Prime Minister confused her with campaigning actress Reece Witherspoon. Ms Zellweger is an expert on British politics who plays most of her roles with an English accent. She has demanded an enquiry into Gordon Brown's mental state after bungling Brown said in the House of Commons: "I'm very grateful to Renée Witherspoon for highlighting the need for an increase in domestic violence towards women."

This is the latest in a long series of gaffes and blunders. Only last week at a party the hapless Premier claimed that Angelina Aniston and Burt Pratt were the President of France and his wife. He also confused Nicolas and Carla Sarkozy with a pair of registered child offenders.

"I know I have made one or two mistakes" Mr Brown said, reading from an autocue. "Admittedly, I sent a semi-literate letter of condolence to the family of a British soldier two years after my death. But my poor reading and writing skills are down to the Labour party's education policies and have nothing to do with my state of mind."

Mr Brown denied being out of touch with the British public: "I'm completely up to date with popular culture. My favourite hit parade combo is the Articulated Monkeys and I watch Opportunity Knocks every week - or I did until Jewdrop were voted off." Mr Brown also insists he uses Bebo, MySpace and Facebook. "And I'm constantly Twittering" he added.

The Prime Minister nodded off during the press conference for a few minutes then suddenly woke up and shouted: "The brown government is committed to fighting racism."

The last word goes to Ms Zellweger: "I'm the one with a long list of successful romantic comedies under my belt, including the Oscar nominated Bridget Jones. Reese is the one with the chin."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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