Sidney, a baby bacon porker was hospitalised this morning after contracting the NY1DO1 Skoob flu virus. The patient complained of severe pains in the nether regions, outpourings of pointless verbosity, a sudden craving for alcoholic beverages, severe intractability, loss of cerebral functionality, and a slight cough.
Sidney was rushed to Swindon Royal Infirmary and placed on an isolation ward.
His distraught mother, Sowbella, told us:
"It's awful seeing my little Sidney in such a terrible state. As a mother, I feel a need to tell all mothers in the world that this Skoob flu is a pretty serious business. All I can do is appeal to mothers to be vigilant and seek medical advice as soon as the symptoms exhibit themselves."
Sowbella's life partner, father of Sidney, Honk, declined to comment but placed a protective trotter around Sowbella's ample shoulders.
Anyone with concerns about Skoob flu should call their local library and ask about boat trips to Somalia.
It won't do any good, and it won't help the patient, but it might make you feel better.
More as we get it.