Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Police, Criminal, Local

Friday, 4 December 2009

image for Colourful Local "Character" Arrested Again
Fotheringay Fairbanks Being Taken For Tea And Biccies This Morning.

Local man, Fotheringay Fairbanks - the ex-public schoolboy who looks a little like the late Terry Thomas in his heyday, who wears a monocle, and talks like he's got a mouthfull of marbles was arrested again in the early hours of this morning.

'Lord Snooty' as some neighbours refer to him, was placed in the back of a police van and taken off to an undisclosed secure location. Probably for tea and biscuits.

Police spokesman, Detective Inspector Harry Minge, told reporters:

"Acting on a tip off, officers from the East Thames force this morning arrested Fotheringay Fairbanks in connection with a multi-million pound hydroponically grown marijuana scam, offshore banking irregularities, illicit international arms dealing, white slavery allegations, and attempting to overthrow three governments, two in Africa, and one in South America. He has been taken to a secret location where he will be plied with tea and biscuits, and if he's a really good boy, possibly toasted crumpets with real Irish butter."

Fotheringay Fairbanks used his one available phone call to contact theSpoof.com telling us:

"I say. It would appear I'm in rather a bit of a pickle here. Could you ask Aunt Valerium to pop around to the cells with some battenburg cake and some buttered scones. One is absolutely famished."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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