Written by Lojo
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Topics: Christmas

Thursday, 3 December 2009

image for Christmas Lights Non Celeb Offered Wonga!

The guy who was recently nominated to turn on the local town's Christmas lights has said that his new found fame has earned him a whole host of deals.

No one can remember his name or where he comes from but ever since his picture was published in a tabloid newspaper he has had several PR companies and producers chasing after him.

'It's been absolutely pukka since my pic was in the news' he said 'I was called by some agent to appear in an advert, I never actually got the messages because I was at bingo, but my mum said I should abandon college to focus on my new career.'

It is believed he was offered a role as an extra with actress Jessica Simpson in an advert promoting ovens.

According to insiders, Jessica is baking a cake but she burns it and he needs a chain saw to cut through it.

Jessica eats it regardless and the guy then says 'These chainsaws will cut through anything, got a bonsai tree in your way? Come to us.'

The unknown town mayor commented 'We are thrilled that this guy is representing our town in a productive war, now all we need is someone to pay attention to us when the flood come in and we are sorted'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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