Following the recent flooding in the Uk in areas such as cockermouth. a team of leading meteorological scientists have released a report that says:
"Global warming is the cause of these storms. and the houses of parliament are the cause of global warming. all the politicians have so much hot air in them that when they get to Parliament it is not surprising that they are doing so much damage to the enviroment. in fact they produce so much hot air that i am surprised that the houses of parliament have not floated away like a hot air baloon yet!! the amount of hot air being produced by the houses of parliament is having a serious effect on the temperature of our planet. Not only are the houses of parliament causing so much hot air to be produced, they are also producing as much CO2 emissions in a day as the average car does in a year"
One of the main greenhouse gases is carbon dioxide (CO2). As trees grow they take in CO2 from the air. When the wood dies the CO2 is returned to the air. Forest clearance and wood burning (such as happens in tropical rain forests) is increasing the latter half of the process, adding to the CO2 in the atmosphere. Deforestation is now out of control. For example in 1987 an area of the Amazon rain forest the size of Britain was burned, adding 500 million tonnes of CO2 to the atmosphere. The loss of the forests also means that there are fewer trees to absorb CO2. CO2 contributes about 50% to the greenhouse effect.
Of this CO2 about 75% of that is produced by politicians worldwide. and about 25% of that is produced by the houses of parliament, with the Americans coming in a close second at 24% of the CO2 produced by politicians. So, in theory, if we get rid of the politicians we get rid of a large portion of greenhouse gases and thus do alot to help save the enviroment.
One parliament spokesman released this statement following the reports release:
"This report is a fake. there is nothing to prove that we are a major contributor to greenhouse gases. or that we produce a lot of hot air. The scientists who wrote this report are also frauds and are currently being detained under the speaking against parliament act. members of the public should note that we are doing everything to try and stop global warming."
The parliament spokesman was picked up after the press conference by his private helicopter which promptly whisked him back to his home 5 streets away.
Citizens of the flooded areas are calling for MP's to be held responsible for the flooding.
One angry resident of cockermouth has said: "There was flooding like this last year as well and the people affected then have not been reinbursed as well. The MP's go on about how they are trying to be green and everything but they will not admit to being responsible for it."