Written by matwil
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Topics: Food, Supermarkets, Sheep

Friday, 27 November 2009

image for Dead sheep wheeled into Supermarket
'Why do these fools eat meat?'

The RSPCA today hit out at youths who put a dead sheep into a shopping trolley and wheeled it into a Tesainsda store in south-east London. Staff at the store have named the animal 'Tesainsda's Finest Best Lamb Chops', and it is thought to have been rustled from a supermarket in Kent. The RSPCA said it was 'a stupid, irresponsible stunt'.

Joe Forelock, the manager of the store, said: 'We were shocked to discover that a poor dead sheep had been wheeled into our store, and that it had been force-fed chemical-ridden artificial food by the youths, including hormones, and had suffered greatly by being kept in a cage by them for years before being barbarically killed by them and brought here. This is disgraceful behaviour, and I hope they will be prosecuted for these terrible acts.'

And butcher's counter assistant the Right Reverend Larry Bleating added: 'Thank goodness the RSPCA have been informed, otherwise places like Tesainsda would be full of dead sheep, sheep that have been injected with hormones and additives and penicillin, and then barbarically killed.'

'Tesainsda is a place of worship for the noble ovines, indeed we have a temple here in Bexleythatch where our staff daily light candles and place them beside our statue of Dolli, the Sheep They Couldn't Eat.'

Cows and pigs across the United Kingdom were hoping that they could also be wheeled into branches of Tesainsda soon, anything to avoid appearing on tomorrow's lunch menu.

Stuffed with additives, growth hormones, artificial flavourings, e-coli and salmonella. The RSPCA - silent about millions of farm animals being mistreated for money, but all concerned about one perfectly healthy sheep having a day out in a supermarket. Well, every little helps.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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