London - (Hellfire Club): "Never mind that 'Iraq War Pact Signed In Blood As Early As 2002!' bollox," the Chilcot Iraq Inquiry was told today.
"The Poodle Brothers were at it as early as '69!"
Today's testimony from the former head of the Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency 1968-1984 was unequivocal:
As trainee KGB thugs the Poodle Brothers' first assigment was a spate of IRA/Bader Meinhof/Carlos-the-Jackal-style bombings in mainland Europe.
Then they cut their terror teeth in Mossad gulags like Marx & Spencer ladies underwear departmen.
And by the time they met 'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi the Kremlin reckoned the sun shone out of their fetid uterine arses.
Tomorrow's session will hear from Royal Freak Hospital orderlies about an LSD and incest incident in London's Hampstead Heath, circa 1981.
"Yeah, they got smashed on vodka/LSD microdots and ended up shagging eachother shitless in the Ladies Pond changing rooms," Heath warden Stanley Kubrick commented.
Cherry Bush is Dubya's first wife.