In a sensational and jaw-droppingly astounding moment of frightening shock and awe, The Sun newspaper today printed a truthful story.
Demonic Mohican, editor of the glorified toilet paper, said "I can't apologise enough to our readers. I'm launching a full investigation in to how this could have happened."
The Sun have prided themselves on giving half baked accounts and embellishing the truth since 1964. To suddenly report the whole truth and nothing but the truth in a story, shocked many people.
"With a circulation of 3 million people we feel we may have seriously informed some of our readership, and that is unacceptable," continued Mohican.
"We have standards to maintain, I can imagine it now, on building sites the country over, men will be sitting for a tea break having a well informed, valid and meaningful discussion, it make's me shudder and break's my heart."
The exact story that has caused the furore is a closely guarded secret, for fear it may attract more of the readership to seek it out.
"We can only apologise to our faithful readers, and promise wholeheartedly, that we will be back reporting nonsense, half-truths and bullshit tomorrow," said Mohican, "I feel dirty, I'm going for a shower now."