Written by Bob Muppet
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Monday, 23 November 2009

image for Katie Price Eats Ant's Tentacles Then Dec's Testicles
Ants Enjoy Jordan's Silicone Valley

Big busts and even bigger bust-ups are nothing new in the sexually-supercharged set of the smash Australian hit show, "I'm a Celebrity get me out of here."

But new ground was broken today, when big busted Jordan, the model with the unfeasibly large silicone implants, stormed out of the camp after being voted to take part in 6 consecutive bush-tucker trials.

The final straw came when she was forced to eat 5 million tentacles from the vicious Australian red-backed ant, as part of a test that would reward the rest of the celebrities with an extra bowl of rice.

Insect experts had previously warned of the dangerous side effects that eating ant's tentacles had on vulnerable celebrities.

It has even been postulated by eminent criminologists, that Jack the Ripper had gorged heavily on ant tentacles before engaging in the horrific Whitechapel murders; the chemicals in the insect's appendages causing his insatiable craving for blood and gore.

It was not surprising, therefore, that when the cherub-faced presenter Declan Danelly asked Jordan why she had stormed out of the show, she pounced on the diminutive star and bit off his celebrity testicles.

It has always taken balls to front the tough Aussie show and insiders have expressed their doubts that the testically challenged Dec will not be man enough for future competitions.

Nobody from the show was available to comment on the situation, although someone close to the incident admitted that it had been an unparalleled balls-up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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