Written by Nick Hobbs
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Topics: Kids, Knife, wounds

Monday, 23 November 2009

image for Knife Wounds To Be Shown To Kiddies
Mr Stabby. Always happy to kill.

The government have announced they are to show 'disturbing and graphic' photographs of knife wound victims to teenagers, in an attempt to stop them from carrying knives.

Maria Prannet, Labour MP, says "if we scare the bejeezus out of the little shit's, then hopefully they'll think twice before taking a knife out on the streets."

However, Bob Turd, Conservative MP, countered "surely we keep telling parents not to show children graphic violence, we put age restrictions on DVD's and console games, we tell them that this glorifies violence, then we whip out a photo' of a stab wound and say 'get a load of this', it's a world gone mad."

The government are adamant that this policy will work however.

"We have trialled this in Wolverhampton and knife crime dropped by 20% in two days. 8 of the children threw up on the spot, another 12 were admitted for counselling at a later date. These pictures are pretty bloody strong mind," said Prannet, 69.

As the scheme is rolled out countrywide, officials will be keen to watch it's impact. Various other issues could possibly benefit from this idea.

Prannet again, "we have already begun trialling an underage pregnancy deterrent, we show pictures of Kai Wayne Rooney and tell them 'do you want this?' and also we have had good feedback about our anti-drink/drug policy with the fotoshop pictures of Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse entwined. 'how drugged/drunk do you have to get to do that?' is the message."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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