Written by BadboyIan

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Monday, 23 November 2009

Eating a kangaroo's anus was the last straw for Katie Price, aka Jordan and she has now quite the celebrity jungle, with a bitter riposte that "everything there was shit or if it wasn't shit it was an actual shitter."

With an invaluable week's worth of free prime-time publicity under her belt and a lifetime supply of fish eyes, witchetty grubs and fried flies in her stomach, she has decided to cut her losses and retire from the limelight for a couple of hours and go away for a relaxing holiday touring the botox parlours of Costa Rica with a few hundred close friends, advisers and lower division footballers. She knows she gets proper respect in Central America.

A spokesman for the show said: "Katie was shocked to discover that everyone back home hated her and she couldn't take any more. The anus was the final humiliation although she said it tasted quite nice in an anusey sort of way. She feels she would have managed it better with a dollop of tomato sauce. It's all a bit of a bummer."

The spokesman wouldn't say if Katie would receive her full £350,000 fee for the show but it is believed she is donating some of the money to Joe Bugner's campaign for brain-damaged former boxers and will use the rest to start a new 'Katies Jungle Knickers' brand which will retail in the UK for just £99.99 a pair(or two for £249.99). The designs are still a closely-guarded secret but there are rumours that some will feature tasteful prints of a kangaroo's arse.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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