Thirty-nine year old Eric Dewit crossed the English Channel on Saturday afternoon, in a Cuban Heeled Shoe, in a time of F days, y hours and q seconds.
In a bizarre twist, after landing at Zerf Point in northern Switzerland, Dewit, a Hairdryer salesman from Saffron Walden, tried to thank Cobblers Rompards and Sons for building such a sturdy shoe, but it fooled no one.
Unfortunately, Dewit has a severe speech impediment, where the only audible words are "Twix" and "Sponge", so its incredibly difficult for journalists to interview him. Dewit often talks in binary to get around his disability.
In a press release, Dewit said "00001111 000001110011 00001110001 010011010101001 001101010100 10010101001001001100100 1101010101010101010101 101010101."