Written by Morse
Print this

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

image for UK Woman with Persistant Sexual Arousal Syndrome Hired as Cigar Humidor at Clinton Presidential Library!
Bill Clinton Samples a "Monica" from his imported UK Vagina Humidor

A formerly obscure, but wildly popular UK woman in her village of Dudley for her propensity to have over 300 orgasms a day, was taken off the dole and offered a prestigious job in the US as a Humidor for former President Bill Clinton's priceless cigar collection .

The Clinton library was built at a cost in excess of $165M and comprises over 150,000 square feet of living space. In addition to the 2m photos, 80m pages of documents and over 80,000 artifacts, most stolen from the White House when the Clintons backed up the moving van when they were evicted, it also houses "Wee Willie's" most prized collection of over 42,500 rare, some say priceless, cigars.

Clinton, an avid cigar aficionado since puberty, claims to have 50% of the production of the famous Colribas, only 4,000 which were made, and sell for $18,846 a box of 40, or $471.15 a piece.

Another rare cigar is "His Majesty's Reserve" infused with Louis XIII Cognac, at $750 a piece, and Clinton is said to have over 1500 of those, including some butts that are only half smoked that he saves 'for sentimental reasons' according to a library spokesman.

While Clinton does have state of the art humidifiers, temperature controls and security in place, he apparently sought out the UK women, whose name remains unknown for security purposes, saying he wanted the ultimate
cigar humidor....a Pussy that could treat at least 300 of his cigars a day to the proper moisture and temperature, while infusing a rare flavour to his prized collection of trade mark sexual aids.

According to reports, Clinton will be hosting an exclusive cigar sniffing and tasting party on New Years Eve with special guests George Clooney, Sean Penn, Fernando Monte Verde, Lindsay Lohan, Rosie O'Donnel, and a score of additional liberal Pussy Aficionados.

His wife Hillary, will sample her cigar during a private ceremonial service for former childhood friend and adult confidant, Vince Foster during which the former first lady also celebrates the fact she didn't go to jail over the Whitewater Scandal.

The unknown UK woman is said to be beside herself with ectasy over the appointment saying her biggest problem will be "not getting off in the plane when it's half way to the colonies!"

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 plus 2?

1 7 21 5
50 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more