Al Qaeda have claimed responsibilty for the presence of Katie Price in the new series of I'm A Non Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here.
The mountainous fronted star of lad's mags the world over joined other non entities, in the trial based game show set in the bush in Australia.
The Islamist terror group have issued a statement that describes their hatred of the west and all we stand for. In it they claim to have found a way of bringing life as we know it to it's knees, by way of torture on a mass scale.
The first of these moves was to insert Price, 45, once again in to the public eye, to make comments in her annoying voice and to bemoan Peter Andre and other such interesting facets of her life.
Anti terror officials have issued this statement in relation to this news, "we are not afraid of al qaeda, they have made a grave error in their planning of this attack by seriously thinking anyone actually gives a monkey's arse what Miss Price has to say about anything."
Government officials are not so convinced. MP Doug Barry John OBE said "while I agree that no one cares about the vaccuous air head, we will still be subjected to her presence everywhere we turn. I don't particularly care about water, but stick me in a room for three weeks with a constant dripping and I'll go mad!"
As if Ant and Dec were not bad enough in themselves, we as a nation will now have to see Miss Price's contorted, stretched and painted face in every magazine, TV show and newspaper for the next 3 weeks. Will we handle it?
Other rumoured planned attacks of the terrorist plot include David Dickinson reading the talking clock, Anthea Turner hosting the 10 o'clock news and Jonathan Ross on continual repeat at Radio 1, reading 'The Unabridged History Of The Letter R' by Prof. R R Rillerry.
These Have not been confirmed.