Written by Ulver
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Topics: X-Factor, Nazi, Jedward

Sunday, 15 November 2009

image for Cowell uses Nazi chestnut
Another of Cowell's decisions today

Beleaguered Pop Svengali Simon Cowell is still reeling this weekend following the titanic outpouring of righteous indignation from the great British Public about his "Fix" Factor decisions.

Cowell, 87, actually attempted to apologise in last night's show for allowing skin-wasters Jedward to survive for another week, but instead followed the old Nuremberg adage "I Vas only followink orders", after he said he had to leave the decision in the hands of the voters.

Cowell, best remembered for high waisted trousers and a ridiculous hairstyle, as well as banging faded 80s warbler Sinitta, then went on to champion the Irish twats after their abysmal cover version (of an even more abysmal cover version by an abysmally untalented white rapper) of one of Queen's best-loved hits "Under Pressure".

Louis Walsh, Irish mentalist and lover of young men stated "diddly de, de public love 'em and so do I" before rushing the twins into his private accommodation to be rubbed down after the performance.

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