Written by Nick Hobbs
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Sunday, 15 November 2009

image for Night Time To Be Moved Forward Twelve Hours
A city at night. Would be much clearer if the Conservatives are elected.

Leader of the Conservative party and all round smooth geezer David Cameron has stated in Parliament today that, if elected, he intends to move night time forward by twelve hours to bring it inline with European standards.

"The benefits will be a hundred fold," said Cameron during his speech. "Night time has traditionally been a time for darkness and foreboding, no longer will we live in fear of burglaries or attacks down dark alleyways. Women can walk home in safety. Road accidents will be clearer in the light, aiding our already stretched emergency services. Energy saving will be emense, no longer will we need to turn our lights on to read at night or floodlights to watch sport!"

Cameron went on to state that the present timing of night time was most inconvenient. "People who work night shifts are forever left in the dark, it's time we, the Conservatives, shed some light on this ever spiraling problem."

The Labour leader Gordon Brown countered that surely moving night time forward twelve hours would just increase problems for day time staff, but as usual nobody was listening because he is usually wrong in whatever he says.

"The exact details of this proposal need to be fleshed out, but the principals are there for all to see," crooned Mr.Cameron, "night is the light!" he stated in a posh accent, creating the probable slogan for a new, lighter night generation.

A passing owl was unavailable for comment, though fears they may be put out of work are paramount in their respective communities.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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