Prime Minister Gordon Brown today 'apologizered' for the letter he wrote to the mother of a dead war hero that contained a number of schoolboy 'misteaks'.
He told Mrs Janes (he had written to Mrs James) that because he only had one eye - his right - it made handwriting really difficult. He told her he only felt really 'complete' whilst urinating because he could completely empathise with his 'one-eyed trouser snake.'
Observers have now concluded that his 'one-eyed' syndrome could also be subconciously responsible for a number of other little gaffes like selling all the UK's gold reserves at the bottom of the market, forgetting to bow his head at the Cenotaph Poppy Day ceremony and choosing Peter Mandelson as his unofficial successor.
A consultant optometrist said: " Having one eye does give you an excuse for cocking almost anything up. When he loses the next general election I've no doubt that the PM's one-eyedness will be blamed."
Mr Brown was unavailable for comment. A spokesman said he was practising his handwriting in the nursery at number 10 and couldn't be disturbed.