Written by matwil
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 8 November 2009

image for Nation Unites To Condemn Blair and Bush

Millions of British people today have condemned the war criminals Anthony Blair MP and President George W. Bush, for attempting to invade the sovereign independent nations of Iraq and Afghanistan, leading to thousands of dead civilians and British and American soldiers.

At 11 a.m. this morning, Sunday the 8th. of November, many held a two-minute silence to remember the shame of the failed invasions of the world's third largest oil producer and the world's largest opium one, all supposedly in the name of 'freedom' and 'democracy'.

'Saddam Hussein was invented and funded by the USA', said an anonymous Iraqi civilian, with cluster bomb wounds from USAF attacks on his town, 'freedom and democracy! Only children would listen to that shit. Oh, American adults do ...'

And another Iraqi woman, whose children were killed by British soldiers shooting at an imagined 'terrorist' target that turned out to be a school, added: 'At least with Saddam there was basic peace, as long as you kept your head down and didn't annoy his secret policemen. Now it's violent anarchy and chaos everywhere, all thanks to Blair and Bush. Thanks a lot, guys!'

Remembrance Sunday next year will also honour the soldiers of the Reichswehr and Red Army, for their bravery during World War Two. 'We were truly a band of brothers in Greece', former Waffen SS soldier Horst Wessolkopf said, 'it is only correct that the British should honour us. After all, they are only doing what we did across Europe all those years ago, terrorising a civilian population for money and oil. Just ask the Romanians!'

And Ukranian Red Army veteran Dmitri Bumpdtov added: 'Under Comrade Stalin we killed more people than the Nazis and British put together - and that was just the civilians, ha ha ha ha! So da, we will be attending next year's Remembrance Sunday celebrations. Plus let's just hope Comrade Molotov and Herr Goebbels will be there, to make sure the media are filled with propaganda nonsense about 'sacrifice' and 'peace' and 'heroism'. It's not even funny any more.'

Veterans of the the Israeli Defense Force were also due to be invited to next year's event, but the organiser Major-General Penzance-Pirate decided against the plans, saying 'Nazis, yes, Bolsheviks, OK, but even we draw the line at inviting the Israelis over. There's nothing honourable about mass-murdering civilians in the Middle East for decades to keep control of oil and opium supplies. Oops!, that's what we've been doing, ahem.'

'Quick, chaps, get out the flag, the Queen and lots of sombre music, that'll keep people's minds off what the Muslim world correctly sees as war crimes by the West, destabilising whole nations to keep them from independently deciding how they want to run their own countries.'

'We tell you how your countries will be run, and if you don't like it we'll send in thousands of soldiers and jets to kill you and all of your children until you agree with us. Then hold Remembrance Sundays to paper it all over. Surely nobody would believe all this crap, would they?'

A two-minute silence will be held on Wednesday, the 11th. of November, to remember the millions of people that have needlessly died thanks to the British and American governments since 1914, both soldiers and civilians. The Queen and Christian apologists will not be invited to join in.

Make matwil's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

Related Stories...


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 3?

7 25 10 15

Go to top