Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: The Spoof, Sand

Friday, 6 November 2009

image for Household Sand Bills Set To Rise 200%
Sandy Sandman Yesterday With More Sand.

Consumers reacted angrily today to a proposed 200% increase in Sand Bills. The increase has been sparked by the recession and global warming. A spokesperson for The Central Sand Board told us:

"It's regrettable, but our sand is getting more expensive to collect and distribute. Global warming has led to rising sea levels, which cover up the sand and make it harder to collect, and rising fuel prices have increased transportation costs and regrettably those costs have to be passed on to the customer."

A representative from OFSTRAD the office of sand trading watchdog was far from happy with the proposed increase. Chucky Mellancamp III told us:

"This is blatant exploitation. Every household in the country needs 24/7 access to clean sand, and the Central Sand Board operates a virtual monopoly. They're forever complaining about the cost of sand. People need sand. It's essential. The nation would grind to a halt without it. We should follow the example of the French and set up a sand pipeline to the Sahara desert. There's loads of sand out there, and it's much cheaper than the home grown variety."

A Saudi national said that Saudi Arabia would have no need to import sand as it had plentiful reserves of its own.

Pensioner, Albert Wetwhistle told us from his Lancashire home:

"There was loads of sand about when I were a lad. Costs an arm and a bloody leg these days. Scandalous it is. Bloody scandalous."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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