Victoria Beckham has reputedly put a £1,400 deposit on two micro pigs as a Christmas present for husband David.
Local farmer Farmer Palmer, whose land adjoins the Beckhams fortress 'Beckingham Palace', told our reporter to, "Gerrof moi f****n land!"
His wife, Mrs Farmer Palmer, was a little more forthcoming, telling me that as far as she was concerned 'That dozy Spice bird has been sold a pup', or in this case a puplet. "She could have had one of our pigs for a mere 20 quid, and my husband, 'Farmer' would have butchered it for her. Can't say fairer than that, now can you? She looks like she could do with a good big sausage, if you know what I mean."
When she was confronted with evidence that suggests she may have been the victim of a con, Victoria was unable to answer, as it would appear she has had her lips permanently sown into a ridiculous pout.