Written by IN SEINE
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Wednesday, 4 November 2009

image for Boris Johnson Arrested
The age of chivalry will feature plenty of girls, iron bars and action!

When London mayor, Boris Johnson was riding through the streets of London on this cycle, he came across a bunch of thugs who were dressed inpink hoodies who were in the process of mugging a young girl who screamed for help.

Boris told In Seine News; "I was riding home on my bike after a couple of games of table tennis, and I heard a girl shouting for help. She was surrounded by group of around 10 or so girls in pink hoodies. It was a really frightening experience at the time but I just did what any chivalrous person would do.

"I shouted at them - 'OY YOU OIKS! What do think you're doing!', upon which the whole gang ran off leaving me with this nice looking femme fatale cowering in between two parked cars. The thugs, who looked like they belonged to the Vicky Pollard School of Ballet, left behind an iron bar (I thought I can't let 'my town' be littered with these things - disgraceful!). So I picked it up and waved it at them but they would not come back. So I then walked her to her home to make sure that that was no more trouble. That fine example of a piece of Top Totty turned out to be non other than a film director, Fanny something or other, who had just made two films; 'The Age of Stupid' and '10:10'...no, not the one starring Bo Derek, this one's about global warming. She said that she was glad to see that I was using a bicycle instead of a car and was committed to reducing my carbon footprint."

"People have claimed that this might be a publicity stunt, but I can assure you that it isn't - the girlie actually prefers Ken Livingstone to me, but my own bravery might change her mind. She did say that she might make a film about it and call it 'The Age of Chivalry' "

Boris Johnson was arrested this morning for being in possession of an iron bar and waving it about in the street. He is in danger of receiving an ASBO.

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