Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 2 November 2009

image for Giant swastika crossing for Oxford Circus
It looks a lot like this

London - (Sieg Heil!): A massive swastika-shaped pedestrian crossing straddling Oxford Circus was unveiled by London Mayor Herrgruppenfuhrer Boris Johnson today.

The removal of traffic lights, previous Berlin Wall-style metal barriers and the cementing over of the Oxford Circus public lav has seen the area transformed.

"Of course it means you can't have a slash after trawling Top Shop," disgruntled shopper Dawn Crackers said today, "not that it will stop the most desperate, mind."

The million pound refurbishment sees motorists vie for roadspace as pedestrians trace the swastika paving.

Rumors that police have created hidden trapdoor paving linked to CCTV shoplifting surveillance are so far unsubstantiated.

During the anti-Iraq War protest marches Met officers used the old, fortified Oxford Circus area to corral pesky hoodies and assorted great unwashed trash.

The No 73 Routemaster used to be the IRA's favorite get-home-quick jalopy.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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