Written by Dr Snake
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Monday, 2 November 2009

British voodoo "rootworker" Dr Snake is not happy that his clients aren't receiving their voodoo dolls, mojos and potions on time due to the current postal strike in Britain.

"My clients are ordering voodoo spells from me to bring back lost lovers or to get money or good luck in a hurry," says the Norwich-based voodoo practitioner, who is also the author of the cult bestseller Doktor Snake's Voodoo Spellbook (St Martin's Press), published in Britain and the US.

"They need the hoodoo dolls and roots they've ordered on time, but the postal union is causing them serious hardships," he says.

Dr Snake says that if the government and the Royal Mail can't end the strike, he will - by hexing union boss Billy Hayes,

"I've already fixed up a black and red doll to represent Mr Hayes, and will be putting it in a small coffin, then will perform a graveyard rite at midnight in an old Victorian cemetery in Norwich," Snake explains.

"Hayes won't know what has hit him - no one would want to be in his shoes," continues Snake. "He'll be calling the strike off within days and he'll be begging me for mercy," adds Snake.

Snake says he isn't just doing this for himself and his voodoo clients.

"I'm also doing it for the general public who aren't getting their mail delivered, and to make sure that Christmas cards get through. You could call me the voodoo Santa Claus!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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