"Mark my words, there will be blood in the streets. "
This was the chilling prediction voiced by shamed right wing activist Enoch Bowells, as it was announced that a mass march by three million Muslim fundamentalists would take place in the small mining town of Ramsbottom, Lancashire this weekend. Greater Manchester police have already sent a task force of two policemen and a dog, to oversee the controlling of what is expected to be a 'right ruckus'.
IslamistsRus spokesman, and Scottish Nationalist, Hamish McMohammed, called for an adoption of sharia law across the whole of the British Isles. "We want to see the Islamic flag flying from every flagpole in the country. We want public lashings and amputation of limbs to be the punishment of choice. I, personally, would also like to see the tax on whiskey abolished and fighting in the streets made compulsory for anyone over the age of 16."
BNP spokesman, Bill 'Gripper' Armstrong, denied rumours that his party was about to organise a counter demonstration along the same route, aimed at increasing tensions between the two factions. "We want a peaceful demonstration." he told our reporter. "If anyone gets accidentaly dragged down a back alley and beaten to within an inch of their lives, it won't be our fault. I am in complete accord with Mr McMohammed on another matter. I, too, would like to see the tax on whiskey abolished, and fighting in the streets to be made compulsory for anyone over the age of 16. It seems that at last we may become united in a common aim."
Mr McMohammed had the last word. "Sharia will become English law 'in our lifetime'. Islam is a peaceful religion, and anyone who disputes that will receive 200 lashes, och aye, mine's a large one!"