Written by Mike Eastabrook
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Friday, 30 October 2009

image for Brown backing for Blair presidency sealed in 'Pizza Hut pact'
Tony & Gordon shared a stuffed crust (medium). A bit like this one.

At a press conference late last night, Prime Minister Gordon Brown admitted that his backing for Tony Blair as EU President was sealed in a secret meeting at the Walworth branch of Pizza Hut. "Every 15 years we meet up, and this time it was my choice".

Recalling a scene with earie echoes of the notorious 'Granita' pact in Islington in 1994, Brown insisted he had learned his lesson from last time. "When Tony asked for the wine list, the alarm bells started ringing. I was only drinking a Diet Coke, and knew I could refill it as much as I wanted for £1.50, so I stood my ground and only agreed to him having a small glass of red. No way was I forking out for carafe, even on a 50/50 basis." A waiter also confirmed that although garlic bread was ordered, it was of the plain variety with no mozzarella.

Asked about the content of conversation which had taken place, Mr Brown stated that both had sworn each other to secrecy. However he then went on to say "Fuck him. He said that if I backed him for the Presidency, he would pass on the post to me in a few years time. Probably." When pressed on whether he had accepted the proposal or not, he gave his trademark creepy smile and winked at the gathered journalists, saying, "He maybe a tosser, but he is a very persuasive man. I held my own though, and did not give in until he let me have the last slice of stuffed crust pepperoni. And he treated me to a smartie gelato for afters."

According to the waiter who served them, both parties left the restaurant at around 9.30 pm. Mr Blair was said to have been in high spirits, while Gordon Brown's facial muscles were reportedly more active than usual following the effects of 4 litres of Diet Coke.

Tony Blair is recovering well after a short bout of food poisoning.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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