The God of fame has decided that he's sick of being insulted by Kate Moss. He said he gave her the gifts of beauty and popularity, and now she's flung them all back in his face, by saying she doesn't like Fame. He says from now on, he will not be supplying her with anymore of either of these gift.
He says she can keep the gifts he's already given her, but he won't be topping them up with the gift of everlasting longevity.
Over the next couple of years the beauty she already has will slowly diminish and her popularity will dwindle, just like everyone else's. She'll get wrinkles and her place in the realms of the style icons will go to the next pretty girl who comes along on the conveyor belt of beauty magazines.
The God of fame also said. "If she hates me as much as she says she does, then it won't be that hard for her to live without me once I've deserted her. But if she wants them back she'll have to apologise to me in writing. To:
"The God Of Fame",
The fluffiest Cloud in the Sky,
The one right next Zeus's house,
He's decided instead to give all of these gifts to Natalie Cassidy from Eastender. She looks a lot nicer, and might appreciate them more. She will age like a holywood icon of Film Noir, but Kate will age like Keith Richards.
By Katarina Frogpond.