Written by RikkiMusic

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Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Yesterday, "The Jeremy Kyle Show" was rocked by the news that one of its chairs had spontaneously combusted following a special edition of the controversial chat show, which usually sees families and friends airing their problems in front of a live studio audience.

The chair, known for it's place on the stage of the show alongside its relatives, normally plays host to the shows guests, but during this particular edition of the program, the chairs themselves were the focus.

In an emotional moment during the morning broadcast of the show, the chair had been given DNA results that proved it was not the father of the baby it had bonded with for a year. Contrary to the regular breed of lazy slobs who frequent the show, the chair had done everything it possibly could for the child, including being a comfortable posterior rest.

Sadly it seems the chair could not cope with the news and immediately left the stage in tears. It was asked to join Graham Stanier, the head of the program's "After-Care Team", in one of the rooms behind the scenes for counselling, but it refused to. Instead it shut itself away in its dressing room.

Later, in the afternoon, a burning smell began to emanate from the chairs room, shortly after which staff who work on the show discovered the horror and phoned for an ambulance and fire engine. To the shock and devastation of everyone, it was too late - the chair was deemed beyond repair.

The show's host Jeremy Kyle had this to say...

"None of us can believe what has happened, nor could we have imagined the situation would become as extreme as this. The other chairs are beside themselves with grief and are not talking. Unfortunately I am out of time for this interview but if you find yourself in the same position as any of my chairs today then please call the hotline it's 09011 123 456, or go to my website it's itv.com/jeremykyle. Until next time, take care bubye for now."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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