Macho foodie critic A A Gill is to open his own restaurant in the monkey enclosure at London Zoo.
Called The Funky Gibbon it will offer diners a new opportunity - to shoot their own dinner.
Guests, who will be CRB checked, and must own a firearms licence before they will be allowed to book a table, will be handed an AK47 fitted with a telescopic sight by the Maitre'D as they arrive.
They can select their own main course from the hundreds of monkeys, gibbons, baboons and chimpanzees that will be roaming free inside the vaulted roof of the achingly chic new restaurant.
A spokesman for AA said: "It's a sort of pret-a-primate concept and we are confident that it will prove popular among the big game hunters and habitual monkey eaters. The marketing will especially target South Africans living in London to "give them a taste of home."
Vets will be on hand to administer the coup-de-grace to any of the unfortunate animals that are not killed outright with the first few shots.
A spokesman for the RSPCA said: "It's a disgrace - I'd like to shoot Mr Gill but there's so little meat on his scrawny frame that he wouldn't make much of a meal."
The primates will be served with a piquant mustard and chicory sauce and seasonal vegetables. Diners will be allowed to take the skin of their dinner home to be made into small rugs or other tasteful souvenirs of their never-to-be-forgotten evening at The Funky Gibbon.