Rothley - (Sunny Side Up): 'Maddie a triplet, conceived from a donated embryo,' Halo! magazine sources claimed today as Praia da Iluzion wingnuts' latest whopper began doing the rounds.
The story speculates she has 'disappeared' to join her identical siblings who are living on board a Russian oligarch's ocean-going yacht.
The report names several possible egg donors including Kate Middleton, Princess Beatrice and Jade Goody.
Also in the scramble are various paternity contenders including a Premier League striker (clearly not Roo-Nee), an Olympic gold medal rower and Ant 'N' Dec.
A spokesperson for Kate and Gerry said today "WTF?" as their PR man Clarence Mitchell secured a bumper Xmas deal to stick Maddie's face on Xmas crackers.
David Beckham has taken up snooker.