The new manifesto promise by Labour to add a tax of £1 on each toilet roll sold in the UK has been dismissed by David Cameron as, "taxing crap".
The controversial measure announced by Gordon Brown earlier in the week was launched as a "flagship manifesto promise to take action on today's actions". The measure was warmly welcomed by Labour backbenchers once it was announced that they would be able to claim allowances on any toilet paper used in designated 'second craps' of the day. The additional taxation will raise a further £6.3bn of funds in order to enable the government to target funding on essential public spending priorities, such as pornography and duck moats.
In a hard hitting interview, David Cameron, the leader of the Conservatives, stated that the proposed tax would have a disproportional impact on, "normal crapping, Oxford educated, RP speaking, people like me."
"Everyone knows that the majority of Labour voters are thieving, workshy scum who bathe only when they piss themselves. They rarely wipe their arseholes, if ever, and so the tax will not affect those fuckers. Tories, on the other hand, are hardworking families who do wipe their cracks in a socially responsible manner. They will be forced to use both sides if this goes through."
The proposal has launched a raft of anti 'roll tax' groups, who are planning a demonstration in Trafalgar Squareon 19th November.