Written by Topkkat
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Topics: Toilet

Saturday, 24 October 2009

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It stinks: Minister's denial over toilet activities

Culture Secretary Derek Beagle last night issued a humiliating denial following accusations he had been sniffing toilet paper.

Beagle, 59, and until recently considered a safe pair of hands was forced into the denial following months of whispering in Whitehall's corridors.

A source close to the minister raged: "The very idea is preposterous. Stealing toilet paper, yes. After all that is what it is there for. But to sniff it? It smacks of a dirty tricks campaign and it stinks."

Meanwhile in a carefully worded statement, the minister said: "I can categorically deny the sniffing of lavatory tissue and certainly shan't be resigning. Indeed, anyone who has seen me walk will know that I simply never go near the stuff."

Prime Minister Gordon Brown added: "Derek has my full confidence. Toilet paper has no place in a British Government."

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