There was shock yesterday as it was revealed that groups of Labour Party officials have been loitering near school entrances and accosting schoolchildren as young as 12 with a view to getting them hooked on left-wing politics.
"This is perfectly natural forward planning.", a Labour Spokesperson said. "No-one now over the age of 15 will be voting Labour for the next 20 years, so if we want to get our pick of the best and brightest to get into Parliament when they do start supporting us again, we have to look at someone who will be about 30 years old in 2027. Otherwise we'll be known as the 'Thicky Party' and we don't want that."
Ed Balls has a silly name.