Written by BadboyIan
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Friday, 23 October 2009

image for Griffin denies farting during Question Time
Sound crew were first alerted to 'the deed' by the smell

BNP leader Nick Griffin denied this morning that he had farted loudly during the recording of Question Time last night.

Sound engineers were combing through the videotape to try and ascertain who had produced the loud rumbling bottom explosion ten minutes into the show, but the results so far are inconclusive.

Griffin later issued a statement saying: "I may be many obnoxious things but I am not a serial farter. I adhere to a strict Muslim diet that mainly features goats eyes, sheeps testicles, scrummy pulses, brown rice and houmous etc so my digestive tract is in good order, although I do very occasionally have to clench my buttocks quite hard. But it definitely wasn't me last night.

"If you want my opinion it was probably that crazy black American bird sitting on my left although I can't be sure because she refused to speak to me after I asked to see her visa and work permit just before the recording started. Her response, incidentally, was a ballsy - go fuck yourself white boy. I like that in a black woman - but I really haven't a clue who she was.

"I did notice a very strange, pungent smell during the show but eventually concluded that it must have been David Dimbleby's deodorant."

The videotape shows all the other panellists - except Jack Straw - indulging in synchronised nose wrinkling but producers now suspect it may have been a clever smokescreen by the real culprit.

Jack Straw was not available for comment although a Justice Ministry spokesman said the Minister was very hurt by Griffin's cruel and hurtful jibe about his dad being a lilly-livered coward during the war and he had gone home to bed with his Condeleeza Rice doll and Big Cherie - correction, a big glass of sherry.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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