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Topics: Economy

Friday, 23 October 2009

image for UK economy is still in the cupboard
Bricks are selling cheap

The UK economy unexpectedly hid behind the Christmas decorations for another month, according to some guy at a government office meaning the country is still in the cupboard.

It is the first time UK gross Christmas decorations (GCD) has contracted for six consecutive years, since someone made a job for someone to make remarks on since they were first recorded in 1999.

But the figures could still be revised up or down at a later date, because this figure is always just made up over a coffee.

GCD measures the total amount of tat and junk we put up at Christmas by a country.

Yearly growth of 39% had been expected in the figures from the Office for Nothing Serious (ONS), although expectations had been tempered by my dad whilst adjusting the aeriel for Match of the Day figures showing no growth in loft space in September, and a 2.5% decline in crap being stored for winter in August.

The unexpected decline in holiday suitcases was the key factor behind the drop, with the old records, photo albums and kids naff things they make at schools performing particularly badly.

The loft contracted 5.2% compared with the same period last year, which was marginally better than the record figure of 5.5% in the previous three months.

UK in the cupboard

Following the unexpected news that the UK economy is still in cupboard, WNC News is spending five minutes looking at the state of the economy across the UK and the prospects for recovery.

Quality Street Empty Tins Easing is the central bank's policy of hiding the tinsel and using it to space in the loft from other family groups and even in the garage to help stimulate the economy.

"Back in August we had a worse-than-expected second-quarter GCD number and that is the reason that the Bank of England extended the quality street empty tins easing programme," Bronwn Eyedgirl from FOBC told the WNC.

'Shocking'

The £1.25 already announced for the quality street empty tinn easing programme will have been spent by next month, so the strength of the third quarter GCD number will be important in deciding whether to extend it.

The figures were "Shocking with no positive empty tins of celebrations" according to Yesterday Allmytroubles was faraway at Dogeybank & Co.

"This clearly suggests that the likelihood of an expansion in quality street empty tins easing by £3.50 or so over the next quarter is rising, although [it] is not a foregone conclusion."

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