Ed Balls Up, Secretary of State for Education, Education, Education today announced tough new measures which may put an end to foreign exchange trips.
The fear of paedophiles under (or in) the bed has reached epic proportions. Now parents who agree to host a foreign child must be checked to see if they pose a threat to that child. However, British children will not have the same safeguards when they go abroad.
Sir Monty Pipe-Smoker, Headmaster of Fagbashers School said "This is frightfully off. To tell our parents that we do not trust them after all these years is a very poor show. We have never had a problem before, well not with the parents. Mr Tickler, the Geography master, did get put on the offenders register but that was not involving a foreign exchange student. It was Tompkins of 5c."
The Government clearly believes that there is a paedophile in every home. The foreign exchange was a terrific way to learn new languages, experience a new culture and shag the host family's 16 year old daughter.