The Church of England has ordained a lemon in a bid to make officiating at funerals easier. Whilst the move is unusual, the lemon is not thought to be the first fruit to be ordained by the church.
Bishop Ray Kiddiefiddler said "These days funerals have very little religious content. We feel a really zesty lemon would be more useful than some bent chap with his shirt on back to front. Obviously some people might be offended by this. They should remember that Our Lord, Jesus Christ, did say "Suffer little lemons to come unto me, for their's is the Kingdom of Heaven."
Reverend Lemon is to take up a position in the parish of Much Bonking in rural Suffolk. The local community has welcomed the move. Councillor Reg Bastard said "At least we didn't get a darkie."