Written by victor nicholas
Print this
Topics: Poo, Birth, constipation

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

image for NHS Approves Midwifery for Constipation
"The Little Gaffer"

London - Already the third largest employer in the entire world, the National Health Service plans on stretching the limits of taxpayers further by implementing a new midwifery program for constipated patients staffed with maternity room nurses.

The program became necessary following a spate of large bowel movements topping the eight pound limit in Lancashire by hack writers for TheSpoof.com who blamed long periods of sitting at a computer eating meat pies along with writers block for the affliction.

The new program has had immediate success with long term sufferers coached by the nurses using safe, healthy and natural Lamaze techniques and words of encouragement such as:

"Take a deep breath dearie",


"Push harder",

"Would you like an epidural?"

"It's crowning lovely",

"Congratulations, it looks just like you!"

"Would you like to hold it?"

Make victor nicholas's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 plus 4?

2 5 20 14
55 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more