The phenomenon known as twittering may be linked to homosexuality, scientists have suggested. Studies carried out at the Wellingborough Institute of Sexuality has linked twittering to middle aged camp comedians who cannot avoid being in the news.
Professor Francis Backpassage-Fister said "Twittering in itself may not be linked to sexuality, but the variation known as Frying is certainly a homosexual activity. When an individual Frys he is saying 'look at me, don't you like my bottom?' The individual usually waits for a news story to break. Then, without reading any newspaper articles, he will start to twitter uncontrollably. Usually he will twitter with one hand whilst fiddling with his genitals at the same time."
The Government is being urged to issue a warning to the nation to practice safe twittering. Never twitter with a known Fryer and always log out when you've finished.
Remember, use the twitter and save your shitter!