Written by M F
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Topics: Health, Alcohol

Monday, 19 October 2009

image for Alcohol Pricing Unfair
£1/can Tesco lager, with free 95p cashback.

In a bid to combat the media coverage received by northern doctors, doctors from the south of England are campaigning for alcohol breaks for the retired and very young.

Dr. Peter Grimson from one children's hospital feels those falling outside of the so called binge drinking age groups will be unfairly penalised if they wish to drink.

A patient of his complained earlier this morning that pocket money will not stretch to "50 whole pence per unit". Dr. Grimson sympathises with his patient on this subject, although he did admit the new pricing will not affect him due to increased pay for high level hospital workers.

He continued to suggest, "increasing the maximum recommended level of alcohol consumption would reduce the overall problem and save the NHS millions". With less people filling hospitals due to alcohol related illness, doctors will be able to return to a stress free 37 and half hour working week.

The Foreign Secretary boosted the campaigns profile by adding that this move to increase the maximum level would bring both UK drinking issues and doctors working hours well below the EU average for the first time in 21 years.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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