Prime Minister Gollum Brown has called for drastic action from world leaders in the run-up to a UN-sponsored summit in December.
Brown warned the world that they have '50 days to save my career', and said that he faces a catastrophic future of tragic opinion polls, election defeats and global ignominy if world leaders don't come up with ways of convincing the world he isn't a bumbling, half-blind, gibbering loon with a grasp on reality that is tenuous at best.
Speaking from his private suite at St Aneuryn's Home for the Politically Wobbly, Mr Brown said, "In every era there are only one or two moments when nations come together and reach agreements that make history. If we do not reach a deal at this time, let us be in no doubt that once the damage from my political tenure is done, no global agreement can undo that damage".
Mr Brown added that he expected US President Barack Obama to lead an international campaign to save his Prime Ministership, with other nations following his example. The PM added, "I've sucked up enough, it's payback time".
Mr Obama was unavailable for comment, as he was too busy fondling his Nobel Prize.