News from the Royal Male strike. The dispute shows no sign of ending. Spokesman for the Royal Male strikers, HRH Prince Charles, said "Until management accept our demands we shall not return to work." The dispute began when a demand for a change to the nation's stamps was made. HRH Prince Charles believes that it is about time his head appeared on the stamps rather than the Queen's.
Gradually the dispute grew. Prince Philip is seeking the compulsory extermination of wildlife at weekends and racist jokes to be told at all official functions. Prince Andrew is demanding the introduction of scantily clad female members of staff in all Royal Households. Prince William has requested an extension to drinking hours in the Windsor area, whilst Prince Harry has called for the annexation of Poland.
Management are refusing to meet these demands. The Queen said "We shall not back down on these matters. My head stays on the stamps. That big eared twat can talk about a strike all he wants. It's not as if he ever does anything."
Management are said to be planning to bring in temporary staff to help them get through all the Christmas functions at Balmoral. Meanwhile the strikers are hoping to stage a mass demonstration outside Buckingham Palace. Talks to avert such a course of action broke down when the Queen called Prince Edward a "limp wristed little poof."