Written by Bunsen Burner
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Saturday, 17 October 2009

image for Gordon Brown Likes Chocolate Biscuits
"Go back to your constituencies and put the kettle on"

The Prime Minister today dealt with the nation's biggest worry. He revealed what type of biscuits he likes. "I like anything with a bit of chocolate" said the Prime Minister. It has long been suspected that he has sampled Lord Mandelson's chocolate fingers on more than one occasion and that a hob nob or two has passed his lips.

Mother of two Susie Arseangel spoke for the nation when she said "It's bloody brilliant news. We need a PM who enjoys a good, solid traditional biscuit."

The Tory party has fallen behind in the polls. David Cameron foolishly let it be known that he does not eat biscuits, preferring cake instead. Party whips moved swiftly to calm the growing storm. However, their claim that Cameron is also partial to the occasional Garibaldi caused the anti-European wing of the party to demand an urgent meeting.

Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg said that he preferred Jaffa Cakes because "they are a biscuit that is also a cake".

Other politicians have thrown their hat into the ring. John Prescott said that he loved all biscuits and that he would never discriminate. However, when pressed he said that the TUC sandwich was still his most favourite biscuit and that Pauline loved them too. Lord Mandelson is a fan of custard creams and likes to lick the custard off slowly. Tony Benn, the veteran tea drinker said that a straight forward no nonsense working class digestive was the only biscuit he would have next to his mug.

Gordon Brown is expected to reveal soon whether he dunks his chocolate covered biscuit or not.

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