Written by nigmuncher
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Topics: Mothers

Saturday, 17 October 2009

image for Mother in custody after burying son alive in bowling green
Trencher Longfellow 'livid'

Sicko mother, Constance Craving, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was last night under police arrest after faking her son's death, buriel and resurrection in an attempt to fiddle the British taxpayer out of almost £327.50.

The amazing charade began four years ago when her eight year old son, Stephen, who cannot be named to protect his identity, was six. Craving would wheel him to school in a coffin in order to illegally obtain free school meals.

'I thought it was odd'. said Head teacher, Archibald Reamer. 'The mother would arrive at school dressed completely in black and pushing this sodding great casket. Stephen would leap out and go to join the other brats in assembly. I just considered Mrs Craving to be a bit of a window licker, but who am I to judge?'

Things spiralled out of control, until eventually Stephen had to be rescued by crematorium staff as his mother attempted to incinerate him earlier in the year.

'Think of the money I could save in Sugar Puffs.' she screamed, as she was led away to a waiting ambulance.

Mrs Craving was let off with a warning, and given £27.30 in criminal injuries compensation for alleged 'hurt feelings', after a male nurse was heard to call her a 'bad woman'.

The evil mother is once again in police custody after municipal staff from the local parks department discovered her in the early hours of yesterday, dragging her gasping son from a shallow grave in the centre of the local Crown Green Bowling Club's championship lawn.

'He is risen. He is risen,' she wailed, before being subdued by a swift rabbit punch to the neck.

Trencher Longfellow, bowling green groundsman said yesterday. 'I am livid.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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