Written by Bunsen Burner
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Topics: Students, Piss, Statue

Friday, 16 October 2009

image for Memorial Pisses On Student
Dirty little bastard!

There was absolute outrage at Wellingborough Technical College today when pictures of a memorial urinating on one of its students were published on the internet. Vice Principal Brian Flannel said "This is an outrageous attack on one of our finest students. We totally condemn the activities of the memorial."

Kevin Basin, a second year technical broom handling student was on his way back from a night out in near by Rushden. Perhaps he had one pint too many, but he felt the need to sit down near a fountain. It was then that the memorial struck, pissing with all its might. Poor Kevin was totally drenched, and he had ruined his best (only) pair of cords.

The incident has brought widespread condemnation on the net. Phyllis Spermcatcher said "This sort of thing really puts me off monumental masonry. I used to really enjoy it, but not any more." Local police have complained that they simply do not have enough officers to deal with the problem. Cheif Constable Eric Sacktickler said "I've got five officers and two of them are sick. We all know that Wellingborough has literally hundreds of memorials. From pissing cherubs to shitting angels, we've got 'em all."

Police have urged the public to keep away from all memorials. Should you need to go out, please be careful.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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