Panic broke out at the MoD yesterday, when it was revealed that members of staff had been participating in, and I quote 'lewd swinger orgies'.
Desks were cleared and hard drives wiped, as officials with police back-up scoured the Ministry buildings looking for incriminating evidence, and porn.
Major Sir Noble Action, a gay activist and member of the BNP, led riot police in a dawn swoop on the homes of several high ranking MOD officers and their staff. No evidence was found, and Major Noble had to settle for a cup of tea and a jammy dodger at the home of unmarried secretary, 25 year old Amanda Handy. He appeared three hours later looking flushed and breathless.
This is not the first time that security at the Ministry of Defence has been compromised by the lascivious actions of its employees.
In the Autumn of 1997 several Russian agents were discovered naked in a freezer in the Ministry's kitchens. They claimed to have lost their clothes whilst showering after a particularly strenuous game of badminton in the MOD's recreational facility. This argument was disproved by the presence with the Russians of a number of naked female members of the cleaning staff, who, when questioned by police, had no knowledge of the rules of badminton.
The current search of all MoD's facilities continues, but police are not expected to make any arrests. Let's face it, they never do.